Karen, a
single never-married thirty-year old attorney
has a
four-year old daughter, whom she just picked up from her parents’ home
after another all-day affair in court.
Like
every Thursday, Karen
took her daughter, Anna, to McDonald’s for dinner, which was a very
special mother-daughter bonding time. Karen ordered a salad for her and
a kid’s meal for Anna. To Anna’s delight, the kid’s meal came with some
crayons. While they were eating, Anna turned over the paper trayliner
and began to draw a circle with some numbers just inside the perimeter
of the circle. Instead of staring out the window like she usually did,
Karen looked at what Anna was drawing.
“Whatcha
drawin’ sweetie?” Karen asked.
“A clock,” Anna said.
“Are you sure it’s a clock? It’s got more than twelve numbers in the
circle.”
“I know, Mommy. It’s a clock for you. You said there’s not enough time
in the day.”
Tears
formed in Karen’s eyes.
“Why
are you crying, Mommy?” asked Anna.
“There isn’t enough time in the day, sweetheart. You and I have to make
some more time – time for each other,” said Karen. “I didn’t know that
you liked to draw so much.”
“Oh I do, Mommy. Gramma lets me draw anytime I want to,” said Anna.
“She does?”
“Yep. We went to the bookstore today and she bought me a coloring
book.”
“So that’s what was in that bag. You’ve got a good grandma, honey.”
“I know. She told me that YOU used to like to draw, too. When you were
a little girl.”
“That’s right,“ Karen said softly and was not sure if Anna heard her.
“I DID used to draw a lot and do a lot of sketches,” she spoke in
normal tone.
“Sketches?” asked Anna
“Oh, sketches. Sketches are drawings with pencils.”
“Can we do some sketches at home?”
“Why of course. Tell you what. When we get home, I’m gonna look for
some sketches that I used to do and show you.”
“Okay,” said Anna excitedly.
When
they finished dinner and got
home, Anna showed her mother the coloring book that her grandmother had
bought her. While Karen was looking for her sketches, Anna came
to Karen’s room every time she finished with coloring a page. Karen
gave her daughter kisses, praise and encouragement every time Anna
showed her another page of her work.
Karen
finally found her old
sketches and went into the kitchen where Anna was drawing. To Karen’s
surprise, there were drawings on the doors of the white cabinets. Anna
had drawn on two kitchen cabinet doors.
“Isn’t
it pretty, Mommy?” asked Anna.
Karen’s jaw dropped. She was stunned and could not move for several
seconds.
Anna
finally broke the silence, “Gramma’s kitchen
is
colorful. I want our kitchen to be colorful. Do you like it, Mommy?”
Karen
backed into one of the kitchen walls and lowered her body to the ground
until she was sitting on the floor. She cried profusely. Anna was
confused why her mother was crying. When she showed her mother some of
her work in her coloring book, her mother was happy and excited. Now,
her mother is crying.
“You
don’t like it, Mommy?” Anna finally
asked. Karen was finally able to talk, “No, sweetheart. I like your
drawings. It’s just that when I was a little girl, I did the same thing
on gramma’s walls.”
“Did she like it?” asked Anna. Karen was breathing deeply, almost
hyper-ventilating and said, “She screamed at me.” Karen was now
breathing more normal. “She screamed at me,” she said softly.
“Why?” asked Anna.
“Because I was supposed to color on the paper. I was supposed to follow
the rules. I had messed up gramma’s cabinets.”
“Did I mess up your cabinets?”
“No, sweetheart,” Karen said quickly. “Those cabinets needed some
color. I want you to keep on drawing, okay? But I will get you some
bigger drawing paper for you so you can make me some bigger pictures.”
“Wow! I will make the bigger pictures even prettier!” Anna said with
anticipation. “How come you stopped drawing, Mommy?” Anna asked her
Karen innocently.
Karen took a deep breath and said. “Because I got shut down by what
happened to me when I was about your age?”
“Huh?” Anna asked confusingly.
“I will explain it to you when you are older, sweetheart. Keep on
drawing in the meantime.”
North
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