Do you feel that your negative thoughts are holding you back from being happy in life? You're about to discover HOW you can still live HAPPILY when things don't go your way..even if your life is filled with conflict and turmoil right now and you can't see a way out.

Are you a SLAVE to your circumstances? What I mean is, do you let the ups and downs of life control how you feel inside? If you do, don't worry, you're not alone.

Most people believe that it is the events that happen in your life that make you feel a certain way. For instance, you get a promotion - you feel good. A plane crashes - you feel bad. But what if that promotion added a significant amount of pressure to your job which made each day more stressful than the next? And what if the plane that crashed was an unmanned test plane built to save thousands of lives?

Despite what you may have heard, events themselves have NO MEANING. It's true. It is not the events (the things that happen) around you that control how you feel. It's something else entirely.

If the circumstances in your life are not what make you feel good or bad, then WHAT DOES?

If you're thinking..."my mother in-law" - bzzzzz - sorry, that's not it either. It is NOT the people in your life OR the events that happen around you that control the way you feel.

Instead, the answer is YOU. Only YOU have the power to control your feelings. I'll prove it..

Imagine you're laying in a hammock on vacation in Hawaii. It's a beautiful day and there's a slight breeze. It's just the right temperature and nothing could make the day any more perfect. Then suddenly you get a call on your cell phone from your boss with news that a major corporation has just bought out your employer and hired a completely new staff leaving you without a job!

Immediately your imagination becomes flooded with thoughts of your endless search for a job. You picture bill collectors 'knocking at your door' demanding last months mortgage payment and the bank coming to repossess your home! And so on, and so on, until almost instantly you start to feel nauseous.

Did you read that last part about when you start to FEEL nauseous? What's happening in reality is you're sitting on the beach enjoying your vacation, but what's happening in your imagination is a series of negative images or 'pictures' caused by this sudden turn of events.

Now how could that be? If events around you control the way you feel then how could you feel so miserable when in REALITY, you're laying in a hammock on a beautiful beach?

Simple. Because you let your imagination take over. Instead of thinking about reality, (the beautiful day on the beach) your mind was focused on the terrible images of what MIGHT happen when you return from your vacation. (Bill collectors, job hunting, etc.)

So what's a better way to handle the situation? Simply change the 'picture' in your imagination. Just think of how you'd feel if, instead of dwelling on the negative events that MIGHT happen in the future, you thought of something positive instead.

And don't forget, these negative events haven't even happened yet! There could be a sudden turn of events in your favor and you would've ruined your vacation for nothing!

So instead of instantly reacting to an event, just change the 'picture' in your imagination. You can do this by thinking of a good memory from your past that makes you feel warm and secure.

Now I know you may be thinking. "Yeah right, easier said than done", but just think of the benefit of doing this.

Let's say you receive the bad news from your boss, and instead of letting yourself get worked up over it, you think of your most cherished memory in life - the one that instantly makes you feel good. How can you feel miserable when you're basically 'reliving' this comforting moment from your past? You can't!

You will immediately start to feel very good. That is how powerful your imagination is if you decide to use it the RIGHT way.

Make no mistake: I'm not telling you to be completely oblivious of the problems around you, but the bottom line is this: you can only make rational decisions when you're thinking CLEARLY. And how do you expect to think clearly when your imagination is filled with negative 'pictures' that create fear and anxiety?

When your head is clear, you can then begin to devise an action plan. If you lost your job, start by 'sprucing up' your resume. Do you know anyone who could help you out? What are your skills? Could you get a great referral from your previous employer? These steps can only be accomplished when you're feeling good about yourself. If you're not, it shows through. And in this case, it would make finding a job much more difficult.

What it all boils down to is this: if you let the ups and downs of  life control your thoughts and feelings, you're destined for a very unhappy and unproductive life. But if you learn to CONTROL your negative thoughts by replacing them with more positive ones, it will be much easier to LEARN from your experiences, instead of dwelling on them.

Larry Bilotta is the nation's leading authority on understanding people. He's been helping people build their self esteem and overcome their negative feelings for over 12 years! To learn how YOU can instantly eliminate painful feelings in 20 seconds, stop dwelling on your problems and START feeling better about yourself, get your FREE 7-day email course at http://www.selfesteemsecrets4women.com.
Source:  www.isnare.com

Dr. Wayne Dyer is a popular motivational speaker and author. His recent books include The Power of Intention, Ten Secrets For Success & Inner Peace, Getting in the Gap and Everyday Wisdom. I've been studying Dyer's principles for the past 22 years and here are the top 22 lessons I've learned from him:

1.      You get whatever you think about most. Whatever you think about expands… and therefore, we must be careful to not think about what we do not want.

2.      You can never get enough of what you don't want. Why? Because we're thinking about what we don't want and we keep getting more of it. From an abundance and prosperity perspective, it can be costly (meaning you can lose great opportunities) to contemplate the conditions you do not want to produce for your life…for fear of getting more of what you don't want.

3.      Think from the end. I'm a big believer in starting with the end outcome and working backwards to reach it. Dyer takes a more mental approach to it as he encourages you to contemplate yourself surrounded by the people, events, and things that represent your version of a "perfect life."

4.      An attitude of gratitude will take you a long way. Rumi said, "Trade your knowledge for bewilderment." It is good to be in awe of all that you have attracted into your life and the more you are grateful for that - the more that will flow freely into your life.

5.      Paraphrasing Dyer: There are no branches of any trees that think it is wise to fight with each other. In other words, there is no value in fighting with others as we are all from the same metaphorical human tree of life. There is an old zen saying that goes something like this: Whatever you are for, strengthens you and whatever you are against, weakens you.

6.      It is only natural to have abundance and prosperity in your life. It is unnatural to resist the gifts you have been given in life to share with others. Therefore act confidently with a "knowing" that you already have all of the resources you need to succeed.

7.      You must be independent of the opinion of others. No one can make you into what you are not. You are responsible to no one for your actions and thoughts except yourself. In addition, you are not in control of your reputation. All you can control is yourself and how you act on a day to day basis.

8.      You alone choose your emotional state each day. No one can make you feel any different than you choose to feel on any day. Therefore take full responsibility for the emotional states that you choose to embrace each day.

9.      You are not your body nor are you the possessions that you believe you have. You are timeless; perfect; …just the way you have forever been and will forever be. You are a spiritual being having a human experience. Live your truth.

10.  Meditation can help you solve problems and achieve inner peace. While mental visualization of your intentions or goals are a good thing to do, think of "meditation" as quieting your mind to achieve a place of "no where" -- It's one of the best ways to center yourself.

11.  Your EGO is often at odds with universal laws and principles. Best to identify when you are acting from ego vs. acting from your true authentic self. Your ego wants you to feel special and different than others but the reality is that we share more in common than we have differences. Focus on radical humility and respect for yourself and others in order to keep your ego at bay. You can only extend to another that which you are in truth.

12.  You can only give others what you have inside of yourself. Therefore to give love away to others, you must cultivate love for yourself FIRST. Dyer uses the metaphor of squeezing an orange - asking you what comes out when you squeeze it. Most people answer, "orange juice" comes out. Why? Because that is what is inside. When humans are squeezed, what comes out of them is what they harbor inside of themselves. Harbor love, acceptance, joy, confidence, peace and harmony towards yourself so that you can radiate it towards others.

13.  Your relationship with others does not really exist. You only have your perception of your relationship with others to act on. Therefore you must focus on making sure you perceive your relationship with others on the terms that you hope for the future of the relationship to exist. In other words, you must see harmony within yourself and then with the other person. You must always have within you what you wish to see or give another.

14.  Our intentions create our reality. We each create our own personal realities by what we focus on and intend to happen for our experiences. Therefore we have an enormous responsibility to choose our intentions carefully.

15.  Be attached to nothing but rather connected with what you want for your life. Attachment can cloud your ability to attract what you want. When you let go and surrender to your perfect self, you will attract what you desire.

16.  There is never any scarcity of opportunity, but rather there is only scarcity of resolve to seize the opportunities that knock on our door every day. Scarcity does not exist unless we choose to embrace it…therefore, it is better to never embrace scarcity only embrace the possibility for abundance.

17.  When the teacher is ready, the students will appear. When the student is ready, the teachers will appear. We can not learn the lessons we are here to learn if we are not open and receptive to learn. Do not resist the possibility to change, but rather expand and become more open.

18.  No one was ever hurt by practicing random acts of kindness. The law of reciprocity always rewards kindness and even more-so when you are kind without any expectation of needing a return. There is no difference in the words "giving" and "receiving."

19.  The best way to maximize book sales is to release related products that can be purchased. For example, a book could be followed up with an audio tape, audio CD, DVD, flip calendar, playing card decks and more. Each of these creates additional revenue streams that help to maximize the ROI from each published works. (My marketing brain wanted to insert this lesson in here ;-)

20.  Judgment: One of our purposes in life is to find a way to free ourselves of our need to judge others in a negative light. This is the work of our ego and judging others prevents us from seeing the good in them. There is no value in judging others poorly. As we see others, we also see ourselves.

21.  Dyer says, "It's Never Crowded Along the Extra Mile." That means that we must always give more than we expect to receive. In doing so, we join the small percentage of achievers that consistently go above and beyond the call of duty to serve others. The rewards are often disproportionate for those who go the extra mile vs. those who only do the minimum they need to get by. We give without expectations.

22.  Trust in yourself and in doing so, you trust in the very wisdom that created you. It is impossible to become a no-limit person if you focus on limitations…therefore only focus on what you want to attract for your life. You already are complete, whole and perfect. Trust in the perfection of your life.

Chris Knight is the humble moderator of the fan discussion board for Dr. Wayne Dyer: Wayne-Dyer.InspiresYOU.com -- He invites you to drop by, register for free, and join the discussion. It's by fans and for fans of Dr. Wayne Dyer, and as such, is not connected directly with Dr. Wayne Dyer.